Episode 002: Cook For Cube (feat. Justin McElroy)

Griffin McElroy and Nick Robinson delve into the dark truths behind Pokéball metaphysics, DJ Hero 2 turntable compatibility, Jonathan Blow DDoSing GameFAQs, and the untapped concept of 'social permadeath.' Special guest Justin McElroy.

Introduction
Griffin is insistent on calling the podcast "Dr. Polygon's Game Clinic" before Nick informs him that they had already settled on "CoolGames Inc". He suggests that jokes could still be made with it, including a bit all about Ernie the Factory Foreman, a polygamist who lives underground.

It is revealed that Grandma Wants It Al Dente sold no copies due to the game literally just being a single JPEG image, but that it had received 155 pre-orders and offered a number of pre-order bonuses, including other better games, a plushy of the game's mascot, Pasto, and a free Kinect.



This Episode's Game

 * You got home to make dinner but you bought hammers and not the chicken your partner wanted. (submitted by @ImAaronJ)

Cook For Cube is a cooking simulator with the twist of having the player prepare and cook randomized non-food items, such as traffic cones or chandeliers. It does not feature any recipes or instructions and merely gives the player the freedom to cook the ingredients however they wish by utilizing the wide range of utensils in the kitchen.

The game is marketed as a straightforward, if bizarre, Gordon Ramsey-branded cooking game. Gordon's judgement on each dish is randomly-selected from either "Incredible" or "Damn". However, midway through the game, he requests that the player tell him the most hateful sentence they can think of (offering them a "shiny new pot" or the like if they do a good job). After this is done, the "social permadeath" aspect of the game is revealed: from that point on, if they fail to impress or go for more than 24 hours without playing (or even if they beat the game itself), that sentence will be automatically posted to their social media account and phone contacts. The game bombards the player with pop-up adverts which can only be manually closed after 5 seconds, and a ticker at the top of the screen constantly reminds the player of whatever they had submitted.

The packaging includes a cheaply-made sticker of Gordon Ramsey, positioned to obscure the words, "For Cube", and a speech bubble reading, "And that's all it is!" At the exact moment when the twist is revealed, the console releases a burst of heat, causing the sticker to peel off.

Pee Soccer
Griffin remarks that he thinks it's a bad idea, but then goes on to suggest they could create something similar to the games in the toilets of Club SEGA branches in Japan. (submitted by @JosephGSey)

A sequel to Grandma Wants It Al Dente
Rejected but might be discussed if they run out of ideas in Episode 3 (submitted by various)

Big Boy In The Small Town
Considered to be a literal title, wherein you are a big boy in a small town. The inverse wherein you are a small boy in a big town was mentioned but quickly dismissed. VR support was also suggested. (submitted by @mczub)

Get A Load Of That Dog!
No actual game concept was thought up for this title, merely pondering on what would cause the pair to exclaim the game's title. Griffin suggests the concept of a dog flying a plane, before realising that he's describing Snoopy Flying Ace. (submitted by @YOIMJOEY)

Reverse Pokémon
Less a game idea and more thinking deeply into the logistics of how Pokéballs work. (submitted by John Grimmer‏

Hopeful Juggler
Quickly shut down by Nick, who remarked that there's no such thing as one. (submitted by @sdrawthgir)

Pig Horny
Griffin declines the idea of this game due to finding it "yucky" and wanting family friendly experiences. Nick brings him back on board by suggesting that the game's title doesn't reflect the actual content, which is an otherwise innocuous puzzle-platformer. Level 99 is considered the killscreen due to imagery of pigs copulating on it. (submitted by @spiiinx)

A game where you have to do specific things during the day to have the coolest dream or nightmare at night
Shut down by Griffin due to it being both his real life and also "what Media Molecule's 'Dreams' are about". (submitted by @dropkickpikachu)

ASMR fighting game
A headphones-mandatory 2D fighting game where all punch and kick sound effects are replaced with crinkling paper.

Compatible with DJ Hero 2 hardware, thanks
Griffin suggests combining this suggestion with whatever ends up as this week's game.

Phish fans gotta fuck
Less of a game suggestion and more like a "harrowing, real-life experience". (submitted by @flynetterie)

Trivia

 * This episode marks the first use of the boys thinking up of two different words and saying them simultaneously to create a new mechanic for the game, this time being "Social Permadeath".
 * The original idea for Cook For Cube was almost not expanded on due to the previous episode also being food related but continued theorizing on what the gameplay would be like led to it being the star of this episode.