Episode 005: Glasshouse (feat. Dave Lang)

This time around, we explore a few very strong concepts like Nintendougs, Ni No Clooney, and David Schwimmer: Creative Mode before throwing on the brandcuffs and creating a 100% unique IP with the help of Iron Galaxy CEO Dave Lang.

Introduction
Nick fails to produce a satisfactory book report on the movie 'Uncle Buck', having neglected to watch the film.

Tim McGraw's What If: Trucks: Fates performed poorly, having been financially crippled by the licensing of the entire of 'Truck Yeah' for $415,000,000, and the mandatory speaker peripheral which cost $448,000,000 and which was sold at a significant loss. This was further hampered by the poor decision to make the game free to those who bought the peripheral. As such, the game made a $500,000,000 loss.

This Week's Game

 * A Platformer That 3D-Prints A New, Randomly-Generated Controller For Each Level (submitted by @HansPhilson)

Glasshouse is a platformer which produces increasingly confusing edible controllers for each level of the game. The consistency of the controllers is described by Griffin as being like "firm Fruit By The Foot... with a little bit of crunchiness." When in Party Mode (or indeed, when merely plugged in without the game running) the printer produces an endless stream of randomly generated edible controllers until it is out of filament.

Part of the challenge involves resisting the desire to eat the controller before the end of each level.

Nintendougs
A game in which players must look after a man called Doug Lewis, taking him to non-licensed locations such as Pizza Shack and Slabbages.

Whatever Game You Make This Week, Add a 2 At The End And Market It As a Sequel But Never Make a First One
This was dismissed by Griffin as a "F***ing terrible idea".

Ni No Clooney
You play as George Clooney, who gets into a sad car accident and ends up in a sad anime adventure for one hundred hours with a cockney companion. George Clooney is played by a sound-alike to keep the budget down.

David Schwimmer: Story Mode
An interactive adventure game that retcons David Schwimmer's twelve year career struggles into some kind of adventure. The tagline is ' Get the Full Schwimm'. A game called 'David Schwimmer: Creative Mode' may also exist.

Things That Don't Normally Have Arms: They Have Arms
Nick was unwilling to develop this as it felt like more of a quality of life iPhone peripheral than a game.

Slimer: Tokyo Pool Party
An excellent title as each word adds a different element. Griffin worries that Slimer may dissolve in a pool regardless of whatever East Asian city he is in.

Motel Waluigi
A Motel in which Waluigi provides turn-down service, but also stares at you while you are sleeping.

Fuzion Frenzy-Style Party Game Licensed By The Good Wife
The cast of CBS's The Good Wife play Fuzion Frenzy-style minigames.

The Legend of Zelda But Everything Is Guns
A third-person action-adventure RPG, but with guns. Guns found in dungeons are used to solve gun-based puzzles in other dungeons. One example would be the switching of multiple switches at the same time using a shotgun.

Gone Home But With More Snakes
Having judged that any snakes would be more snakes than the original Gone Home, Griffin suggested adding a ghost to the original Gone Home that appears during one in a hundred playthroughs. The Ghost manifests as a weird man with a rotten face and a translucent body. A gun with a single ghost-killing bullet can be found inside the Christmas Duck.

Throw Out The Baby But Not The Bathwater
Through the use of a Wii Remote in both hands, the player must, using momentum and sheer water tension, catch the water and not the baby in a simulated tub.

Civil Kissobedience
A cop kissing game. Players must run around kissing as many cops as possible. Alternatively, a cop dating game in which players must pick the roundest, most appealing cop with the best moustache.

Trivia

 * Griffin erroneously refers to the previous episode's game as Tim McGraw's What If? Fates: Trucks while delivering the financial report at the start of the episode.
 * Griffin once again refers to a Eurogamer 4, despite it now having been weeks since Eurogamer stopped giving out scores.
 * Pepper II is a game that was marketed as a sequel to a game which never existed in the first place.
 * This is the first CoolGames Inc. episode to sign-off with "No problem, fun", courtesy of an impromptu remark made by Dave Lang near the end.